Homely

I am the fun kind of person who gets drunk and proceeds to call people they shouldn't.

Would you like to be friends with me?

Black Eyed Pants

Yesterday I got a black eye. 

Won't you please tell me why?

I can't rhyme today. I look like the deformed guy from Goonies and I don't like it. 

My eye won't open fully and I can't see out of it.

More to come. Wait. Patient[ly].